“SOCIAL DISTANCING”…..health above histrionics! There is a LOT of “chatter” from many sources right now as a result of the need to deal with an unusual virus that has shown devastating…even deadly… consequences in a number of locales globally. Much, but not all, is negative. Given that MAJOR recommendations for both individual and societal health, that, to the degree we are able, “social distancing” should be observed until further notice. It is not my intention here to pass judgement on decisions on this matter made by experts in the field. Rather, it is my objective to “inject” a bit of both wisdom and humor into our lives. The following “snippets” are derived from many sources, some of which may be identified…and some I am clueless as to origins. AND….If you would like to contribute an unusual activity….a special “Duck Tale” of your own…during this “Social Distancing” period, please e-mail it to me for inclusion in the next club newsletter. Rick Kaufman, Newsletter Editor ….firstname.lastname@example.org
|We are each writing our stories, one chapter at a time. When it seems things have come to a close or blocked your path and you’re forced to shift gears, it is actually time to celebrate. An old chapter may have ended, but this new chapter is a clean slate just waiting for you to start writing it. |
“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.” ~ Vincent Van Gogh
You are no small thing. Sure, in comparison to the Universe, we humans seem pretty tiny. But, the energy that gives you consciousness? It is the same energy born from the stars. That body of yours contains the same atoms and elements that make up planets, just in a different arrangement. So, don’t ever let yourself feel like a small thing when you are created with the same majesty as an entire galaxy.
If doubt was a bitter cold, fear would be its tempest. When the clouds seem to have darkened the sky, and a storm might stand between you and the unknown, it can only freeze you if you stop moving forward. Keep going, keep moving. Each step you take will calm the storm and warm your soul.
NOW…mentioning “warming your soul”…..here come the….laughs….grins…giggles…and….chuckles….
The only good thing about the next three weeks is that, the whole country should realize that we can survive in a world without celebrities and professional sports….and…the farmers NOT shutting down!
There is an e-mail going around offering processed pork, gelatin and salt in a can. If you get this e-mail, do not open it, it is spam!
Nurse came and said to the doc, there’s a man in the waiting room who thinks he’s invisible, what should I tell him? The doctor said tell him I can’t see him today!
Hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to puerto backyarda. I’m getting tired of los livingroom.
How come the liquor stores don’t have empty shelves? Are people not realizing that they will be quarantined with their spouses and kids?
Night 1 of no sports. My wife and I just had an hour long conversation. She’s really nice, apparently works in the medical field. Also…TVs are black when they are off…
Day 2 without sports. Found a lady sitting on my couch. Apparently she’s my wife. She seems nice.
That moment when you’re worried about the elderly….and realize that you ARE the elderly.
Gas is finally affordable and we can’t go anywhere….
To go to the grocery store a mask and gloves would be enough….they lied….everybody else had clothes on…
I either coming out of this quarantine 20 lbs lighter, chakras balanced, and a house full of completed craft projects…OR…20 lbs heavier with a drinking problem…
Our cleaning lady just called to tell us she’d be working from home and will send us instructions on what to do…
20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs….now we have no cash, no hope and no jobs….PLEASE do not let Kevin Bacon die!
The virus must be wrecking India….I haven’t got one phone call in three days about my extended car warranty.
We thought we’d have flying cars by 2020….but, no, here we are teaching people how to wash their hands!
This is it. The day your dogs have all been waiting for. The day they realize their owners can’t leave the house and they get you 24/7! LOL. Dogs are rejoicing everywhere. Cats are contemplating suicide…
CRITICAL ADVISORY: 8 PM is now the official time to remove your day pajamas, and put your night pajamas on…
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: “And what do you think is the best thing About being 104?” the reporter asked. She simply replied, “No peer pressure.”
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, So I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, By the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. “Wal-Mart?” the preacher exclaimed. “Why Wal-Mart?” “Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week”
My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be…..Also, my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
This “Social Distancing”…and its reason[s]…are but a “hiccup in history”….
and it/they, too, will pass…
Respectfully submitted, Rick Kaufman